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Demi Lovato Didn't Think She'd Return to Music After Overdose

(Rachel Murray/Getty Images For Teen Vogue)

Demi Lovato wasn't sure she'd ever perform again following her overdose.

In a Thursday interview with Andy Cohen on SiriusXM's Radio Andy, the "Anyone" singer opened up the GRAMMYs, the Super Bowl and her recent return to music -- which she said she wasn't confident would happen. 

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"That song, ["Anyone"], I knew that it represented that period in my life when everything hit the fan. I knew it represented everything I was going through, the vulnerability... I've never had a moment like this where I've sat down at a piano, or stood next to a piano, and sang my heart out. I thought, if I ever come back from this... I was still in the hospital. I didn't know. If I ever come back from this... I want it to be at the GRAMMYs and I want it to be this song," Lovato said. 

The track, which released during Lovato's GRAMMYs performance on Sunday, represented a "cry for help" for the singer, who recorded it just four days before her July 2018 overdose. 

"Yeah, absolutely [I thought I might not return to music]," Lovato told Cohen. "It was a general [thought] though. We didn't know what was going to happen. We didn't know how healthy I would be when I left. It was a scary time in my life, for sure."

Lovato's performance at the awards show was powerful and emotional -- for her and the audience. She had to restart just moments into the song. 

"I think I was just overwhelmed and overtaken by emotion. When I performed the song, I looked at the front row and I saw my mom and my two sisters, and I think having... seeing them in the front row just overwhelmed me with emotion," she shared. "Also, it was very much in my head, like, this is the first time you're on stage in a year and a half... so I had that voice in my head. And then, also, I put myself back in that hospital bed listening to that song, on little speakers in the ICU. I put myself back in that position and I was just overwhelmed."

"I'm just really, really grateful that the response has been so awesome. I think people are able to hear that song for what it is, which is a very emotional plea for anyone else listening," Lovato added of the support she's received from fans and celebrity friends since. "I want to represent that for people, and showing them they can get through anything."

Lovato will be performing the national anthem at the Super Bowl on Sunday, and said she's more nervous for that performance than she was to take the stage at the GRAMMYs. 

"I've spent more time with that song, 'Anyone.' I've spent more time listening to it. I crafted it. ... So when you put your heart and soul into something, it takes on a life of its own. Whereas the national anthem, if I mess up, everyone goes after you if you do," she explained. 

"I'm not going to read the comments... but there's so much pressure on the national anthem," Lovato added. 

Still, the former Disney star couldn't be more pumped. She tweeted nearly 10 years ago that she'd be performing "The Star-Spangled Banner" at the Super Bowl, and here she is. 

"I feel very excited, nervous, but also grateful," she said on Thursday. "I can't wait. It's going to be so surreal."

"I think 10 years ago I was being more realistic. Normally you don't get to do the halftime show... I did [get to sing the national anthem], in time, and here I am," Lovato noted.  

See more on the singer in the video below. 

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