February is teen dating violence awareness month and as part of our Breaking Free series, KPRC 2 is shedding light on intimate partner violence and how you can recognize the signs of an unhealthy relationship.
According to the CDC, 1 in 12 high school students have experienced physical dating or sexual dating violence.
Here in Houston, it continues to affect young people and their families at alarming rates.
Here’s what you need to know to get out, or help someone get out before it’s too late.
At 15 years old, Jodi Thorgaard had a bright future ahead of her. She enjoyed pageants and modeling. Soon after, she thought she also found love.
“I felt alone and he was kind of like a knight in shining armor,” said Thorgaard.
Thorgaard said that’s when she met her abuser and the father of her four children. Things started out okay and she later got pregnant with their first daughter at age 17. That’s when things really took a turn.
“I really started noticing signs of (an unhealthy relationship). He started getting really controlling, controlling my phone usage, controlling what I wore,” she said.
She said the abuse turned to derogatory statements and became isolated from friends and family.
“I was like his property – like you’re carrying my child so you belong to me so now you have to do what I say,” she said.
But after many years of physical and emotional abuse, it was her daughter who helped her realize, it was time to get out.
“When you hear your 13-year-old daughter tell you, mom you’re just going to forgive him and take him right back and we’re going to be going through the exact same thing we have been for the past 13 years? It really wakes you up,” said Thorgaard.
Thorgaard heard about the organization, Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse or AVDA from her sister. AVDA is committed to teaching teens and their families about healthy relationships.
“Safe dates, live respect, these are programs that really elevate respectful language, respectful behavior, and obviously consent to touch in any way shape, or form,” said Maisha Colter, CEO of AVDA.
AVDA travels to Houston area schools to teach students that love should not be violent. You should not feel suicidal or depressed in a relationship.
“The first thing they need to know is love should never hurt, there is never a time you should condone feeling bad about being in a relationship,” says Colter.
Colter adds, if you need help, tell someone you trust, a friend, a teacher, an adult besides your parents, just tell someone. Parents who are seeing their children being isolated or controlled behavior and signs of physical abuse like bumps and bruises should act fast.
“If you feel like you are not equipped to respond to what’s happening to your child, there are professionals that can help you. Don’t feel isolated, don’t feel alone, know you can get the kind of help that you need,” Colter said.
AVDA provides education to schools across the Houston area, and in some instances, free.
If your school is interested in learning more, call AVDA Monday through Friday 8 a.m.-5 p.m. at (713) 224-9911.
If you need immediate help, call the 24 hour National DV Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
