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Breaking Free: Co-parenting with an abuser

HOUSTON – KPRC 2 is committed to making sure those of you who are facing domestic or intimate partner violence have the proper resources.

We know ‘Breaking Free’ of this type of trauma isn’t a simple journey.

Yet, what unfolds when you summon the courage to break free, only to face the daunting prospect of co-parenting with your abuser because of a court order.

The mental, emotional, and physical abuse began for Tiana when she was pregnant. Her ‘why’ for staying in the abusive relationship was her children.

KPRC 2 Anchor Daniella Guzman and Tiana. (Copyright 2024 by KPRC Click2Houston - All rights reserved.)

“Just when I thought it was over, it was like a pattern rehearsed over again. The control, the manipulation, feeling voiceless, trapped, forced to have to co-parent like normal circumstances but it’s not,” she told KPRC 2 Anchor Daniella Guzman.

Adding, “It wasn’t worth it. Every time I would leave I would see my life flash before me, and I would see my son crying watching me, so it wasn’t worth it because I didn’t want my children to ever witness and go through anything I don’t want them to go through.”

RELATED: Do you or a loved one need help? Free domestic violence resources in the Houston area

Once she left it didn’t get any easier. Co-parenting with her abuser seemed impossible. The abuse was then passed down to her children.

Guzman asks, “Do you ever feel that they try to turn the children against you?”

Tiana and her children (Copyright 2024 by KPRC Click2Houston - All rights reserved.)

She shares, “You face anything from harassment, property being damaged, defamation, [they] falsely accuse you. The only thing you can do is love your children because, in that situation where children have to do visitation with the other parent, you let them know what a loving relationship feels like.”

Dr. Conte Terrell counsels survivors of domestic violence. She says Tiana is doing the right thing.

“Children aren’t dumb, they’re very smart eventually they begin to see things for themselves,” the doctor tells us. “It’s dangerous for the child, staying with an abuser is like Russian roulette. Someone is going to get hurt or killed.”

Dr. Conte says written communication is important when dealing with this type of relationship or use a parenting app to communicate through.

“I’m healing, I’m here, and I left, and I’m not going back,” says Tiana. “My hardest days look like not knowing what my children are going through or even sometimes when I’m going to see them again. The best days are when they are around, and we have survived.”


About the Authors
Daniella Guzman headshot

Bilingual two-time Emmy award-winning journalist. Golden Mike recipient, mother of two girls, believer. Lover of travel, cooking, dancing, and board games.

Jason Nguyen headshot

As an Emmy award-winning journalist, Jason strives to serve the community by telling in-depth stories and taking on challenges many pass over. When he’s not working, he’s spending time with his girlfriend Rosie, and dog named Dug.

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