HOUSTON – Everyone knows communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, but “talking it out” can make or break any conflict. A new book titled, “The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More,” provides an insightful way to approach serious discussions.
Written by communications expert and Houston-based trial attorney, Jefferson Fisher, the book doesn’t waste time pretending to be anything else except a genuine tool to resolve confusion. For anyone familiar with Fisher’s viral videos, where he has accumulated nearly 6 million followers on Instagram, this shouldn’t be a surprise.
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The typical video shows the Beaumont native in his vehicle sharing phrases that could be used “to handle bad apologies,” “respond to gaslighting,” or “sound more confident.” He then explains the reason behind those specific phrases before his signature ending, “Try that and follow me.”
Through Zoom, Fisher and I spoke about the book and his game-changing approach to talking, when traditionally one might mean “listen.”
“It’s just more confusion over what everybody actually means; most people listen to respond,” he explained. “They don’t listen to actually absorb the words. They don’t listen to understand, and so that’s really where the cross wires are that people—Whenever you’re talking to me, the default is I just begin thinking of what I want to say next and I stop listening to you—so listening is simply just ‘observing and listening’ to try and learn and understand without any kind of judgment, just to intake that information versus ‘listening to respond’ is filtering the information to counter—to adjust, to tweak my point, to say something back.”
Fisher’s videos, when compared to the stereotypical thought of a viral content creator, aren’t anything flashy. Instead, they are straight and to the point, which when presented through a myopic lens, might make it easy to dismiss, but it serves as another metaphor for effective communication.
And it’s arguably why he’s become so popular with 5.9 million followers on Instagram and 1.3 million on TikTok.
“None of my stuff is ever scripted or really that well thought out beforehand, I just kind of give these tips,” he said. “What I think people resonate with is that it feels very authentic in that moment, and because it is, it’s very genuine to what’s going on in my world...I don’t have to have law books behind me; I don’t have to be in a suit and tie. Let me be in my car. I’ll let you see my craziness—chaos that my kids leave in my car and be real with you for a second, and while I’m here, ‘Hey, let me give you some communication advice.’”
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Fisher’s book, which was released on Wednesday, has already received tons of acclaim from followers and fans. However, his intentions remain the same.
“I want them to see that I can truly change their life, simply by the power of what they say next,” Fisher said. “It’s the power of their next conversation to die. I can teach them how to argue less and talk more, and just by tweaking a few words, they can be on a totally different trajectory of where they want, in their relationships, in their life, and their overall self-esteem.”
Though the book references psychology journals and studies to back some of his claims, Fisher makes it very clear in his lessons that he is not trying to outside his scope of expertise.
“The tips that I give are strictly from my own experience, in my own life, in the trenches of litigation and what’s natural to me,” he explained. “And so I just wanted to make sure that to tell people, hey, look, I’m not a psychologist, I’m not some kind of psychiatrist. So if these other fields say, you know, ‘we disagree,’ hey, go listen to them. But this is what I’m teaching you. If you like it, great, you can try it.”
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Since the book’s release, Fisher has been on a book tour. One of those stops will be in Houston at Brazos Book Store on March 26 at 6 p.m., which will allow local fans and followers to meet him and get a copy of their book signed.
“I grew up around Beaumont, and so southeast Texas is home to me,” he said. “And being able to have a stop in Houston—it’s huge. So it’s it’s great. I’m really, really excited for and looking forward to meeting everybody there in Houston.”
As for the common question Fisher’s been getting: when’s the next one coming out? Here’s what he had to say:
“I just tell them, ‘Hey, easy, take it easy. Let’s get the first one done, and then and then we’ll go to the next,’” Fisher said jokingly. “But let’s take it one step at a time and truly just try and enjoy the moment.”
“The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More” by Jefferson Fisher is now available everywhere. To attend the book signing and meet-and-greet at Brazos Book Store on March 26, click here to learn more and sign up for admission.
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