HOUSTON – With a thriving ministry and shows on both TBN and the Oprah Winfrey Network, John Gray, the pastor of Lakewood Church, is more than just a minister. He’s a man on a mission to change lives, including his own.
For Gray, a strong relationship with God has always been present.
“I always grew up in church. I knew who Jesus was for myself at 7,” Gray said.
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Born in Cincinnati, Ohio, as the son of two musicians, Gray said it was his mother who laid the foundation of service for his life.
“They got divorced when I was about 4 1/2, and so my father wasn't really a big influence as far as in my life," Gray said. "I only saw him maybe four times. But my mother -- whatever I am, whatever I have of value came from her. My mom was always building bridges and she loved everybody the same.”
Though his mother's love nurtured him at home, Gray said as a young man he experienced feelings of hurt and rejection from others.
“Growing up, I was bullied. I had buck teeth. I had alopecia, so I had bald spots," Gray said. "I wasn't the ladies' man. I was the one they made fun of at the back of the bus. I was the one they made fun of at school, and so, some of those things still sting. I don't care that I'm in my mid-40s now. I can remember particular moments of how I felt."
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But the hurt helped fuel a passion to inspire change in others. Each week, Gray delivers a message of hope to the masses.
“I want to reach people where they are, where they're hurting, where they're broken, and I don't mind sharing my own scars, my own flaws, my own failures to help push what I believe is a relevant message to hurting people,” he said.
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In his new book, "I Am Number 8," Gray uses the story of David to encourage those who have ever felt they were not significant.
“The premise of the book comes from Samuel 1:16. Number 8 is the number of new beginnings in biblical numerology," Gray said. "For those who are overlooked, undervalued, God has not forgotten you. Your process has not hidden you from God. The pain, the rejection -- those are the things that made me. The gifts that people see were nurtured in broken places. They were nurtured in places where the pain was. I couldn't even communicate it, so since I couldn't communicate it, I sang it."
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Delivering sermons peppered with humor and wit, Gray also has a unique ability to reach across lines of age and color to spread the Gospel.
“When I'm speaking to a crowd, yes, I want them to be blessed," Gray said. "I want people to hear the word of God, but I'm also preaching for me, what I'm believing for, what I'm holding onto."
Video: Pastor John Gray on his faith walk
“I'm trying to figure out what it means to be a husband, when I didn't see one growing up, what it means to be a father when there were no good father figures around," Gray said. "I'm trying to figure out what it means to leave a legacy when I wasn't always good with saving money. You understand what I'm saying?”
He credits his wife, Aventer, with helping mend the pieces of his past.
“I've asked her many times, 'Why do you love me?' And she says, ‘I see you. I just do. I love you.’ That's the kind of love that I needed," Gray said. "Her love healed me. God used her love to heal areas of my life that I didn't even know I was broken in."
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When asked what she loved most about her husband, Aventer said, “He's one of the greatest people I know. He's one of my heroes. I love him so much.”
The comment caught Gray off guard.
“Wow, I never heard you say that. You're trying to make me cry on camera.”
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With a loving wife and family, and a ministry on the move, Gray said he has only one wish for his family.
“If I do my job right, then my son, my daughter, their children will continue upon the legacy that I leave," Gray said. “I always see myself on the plot of ground that we're gonna be buried in, and I see myself and I can hear myself talking to me, saying, 'Good job. Well done.' That's what I want to get to. That's what means the most to me -- that when I leave here, I've done what I'm supposed to do."
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